Some people believe in intelligent life-forms on other planets. Others believe in Bigfoot, or different variations of such a creature (Like a yeti or a Sasquatch). And many believe it was quite rude for Kanye West to interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA’s. I, however, believe in something far more realistic- I believe that Kaydee should get a purple Mohawk.My belief travels far back into the depths of my freshman year, when a majority of my school day was spent with Kaydee and our mutual friend, Rachel. It was from Rachel that the overall concept of a purple Mohawk was spawned. It began on a typical day in our sixth period P.E. class. We were sitting in the locker room, spending our final moments before being maliciously sent to run a few laps around the track chatting and taking turns spewing out the communal sentiment “I don’t want to run today!”
I remember it quite well- as if it was only about two years ago. I was sitting on the floor and Rachel on the bench. She said something, and I looked up at her to either speak or nod my head in agreement. It was from this specific vantage point that I visualized something incredible: a fan of violet hair standing on end, jutting out from Rachel’s skull.
“Rachel,” I said. “Have I ever told you that you would look absolutely smashing with a purple Mohawk?”
She disagreed. I was disappointed, of course, but I soon realized that I had been very wrong. I discovered that purple wasn’t really her color.
It happened when I asked Kaydee what the Spanish translation for something was. The moment she turned around and said “nariz,” I knew. I saw the Mohawk instead protruding from Kaydee’s head. I almost spoke. I was dangerously close. But I was petrified of rejection, and so decided to wait until my theory was fully developed.
It took a long time. All summer, in fact. But by the time sophomore year began, I was ready. It was the first day of school, and Kaydee was in my early bird class. I walked up to her. I cracked my knuckles. And then I said something.
“Kaydee,” I said. “Have I ever told you that you would look absolutely smashing with a purple Mohawk?”
She looked at me quizzically, like I had said something totally ridiculous. She also disagreed. But this time, I persevered instead of letting rejection stop me. I’m proud to say that since that fateful morning I have told Kaydee to get a purple Mohawk nearly every day using a different phrase, according to what she is doing/wearing/talking about at the time.
For example, once Kaydee happened to be wearing a pink shirt: “Oh, Kaydee. I love your shirt. You know what goes nice with pink? Purple. So you should get a purple Mohawk.”
Or, on one occasion, she was eating a McDonald’s hash brown. I commented on the commonly-known fact that the hash brown was the designated food of the rock stars, and that she should also adopt the hairstyle of the rock stars (obviously the purple Mohawk).
So far, she has disagreed on that daily basis. But I’m sure that with my unfaltering dedication, I will soon persuade Kaydee to get a purple Mohawk.
No comments:
Post a Comment